From “I’m Not Enough” to Heart Coherence in 10 Minutes

​This morning, I sat down for a precious two-hour block of work time… and my ego showed up immediately with a list of all the ways I was failing.

​I could feel the tension in my chest:

• I want to be a great mom who can hold space for my kids’ big feelings.
• I want to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
• I want to keep a clean and tidy home.
• I want to be a happy, fun wife.
• I want to grow my career in a way that creates financial abundance while sharing the practices that have changed my life.

It all felt beyond my reach.
Add in kids with huge emotions and it’s like hiking uphill with a 100lb pack on.

Even though I’m lifting weights three times a week and following a health plan, our weekly date nights sometimes turn into indulgence fests—hamburgers, BBQ, funnel cakes. My house only feels manageable if I skip work to clean, and when my husband comes home, instead of being light and fun, I’m often tired and cranky.

Naming the Lie
So I paused and asked myself: What is the lie my ego is telling me right now?

Here’s what came up:

• “I’m not doing enough. I’m not enough.”

Then I asked: What is my ego trying to protect me from?

• “Being abandoned by my kids, husband, and community.”

And if that happened, my ego believes:

• “It would mean I’m worthless and I don’t matter.”

Oof. No wonder I was feeling tense.

Shifting My State
I put my hand on my heart and breathed into that space. As I breathed, I brought up a memory from last night: Adam and I at the LCD Soundsystem concert at Red Rocks. The stage was full of musicians creating magic that had 10,000 people dancing as a blood orange moon rose over the city skyline. For a few moments, I let myself relive the awe, the music, and the joy.

Gratitude Anchors
From that place, I named very specific gratitudes from the last 48 hours:

• Feeling stronger and stronger on my supported pull-ups
• The sunflowers in our garden
• Vinni’s hazel eyes in the sunset light
• Isaac’s sweet freckled face and green eyes as he told me about his toy
• Paying the yoga business insurance and Isaac’s school fees

Choosing What Matters
From there, the day got simpler. My priorities became:

1. Pay the two bills.
2. Apply for TED Talks.

Everything else? Bonus.

Reframing the Story
I reminded myself:
I’m walking this steep trail with strong legs and a full heart. I can let go of attachment to how I think things should be, find beauty in what is, and trust that it is all working out.

Visualizing the Future
I closed my eyes and pictured myself in luxurious white bedding, in a clean, sunlit bedroom. My kids and husband are happy and healthy. We have financial abundance from fulfilling work, paid down HELOC, and support with our home so we can simply enjoy each other.

And in the bigger vision, I’m standing on the red circle of a TED Talk stage, sharing my mission:
To transform the way people show up at work, at home, and in the world, by helping them move beyond default patterns so they can step into an empowered, intentional, purpose-driven life.

Takeaway: Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your frustration—it’s about naming the ego’s fear, shifting your physiological state, anchoring into specific joys, and taking aligned action. It’s a skill you can practice in minutes, right in the middle of a messy, beautiful, real life.

Ego-to-Gratitude Reset — Quick Guide
​(Screenshot or save for when you need it most)

1. Name the Lie: “Right now, my ego is telling me…”
2. Identify the Fear Beneath It: “It’s trying to protect me from…”
3. Shift Your State: Hand on heart, slow even breaths, recall a specific moment of joy.
4. List 3–5 Specific Gratitudes: Small, recent, tangible details.
5. Pick 1–2 Simple Wins: The minimum that will make you feel grounded today.
6. Reframe the Narrative: Create a sentence that affirms your strength, trust, and presence.
7. Visualize What You Desire: See and feel it in detail.