​This morning, I sat down for a precious two-hour block of work time… and my ego showed up immediately with a list of all the ways I was failing.

​I could feel the tension in my chest:

• I want to be a great mom who can hold space for my kids’ big feelings.
• I want to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
• I want to keep a clean and tidy home.
• I want to be a happy, fun wife.
• I want to grow my career in a way that creates financial abundance while sharing the practices that have changed my life.

It all felt beyond my reach.
Add in kids with huge emotions and it’s like hiking uphill with a 100lb pack on.

Even though I’m lifting weights three times a week and following a health plan, our weekly date nights sometimes turn into indulgence fests—hamburgers, BBQ, funnel cakes. My house only feels manageable if I skip work to clean, and when my husband comes home, instead of being light and fun, I’m often tired and cranky.

Naming the Lie
So I paused and asked myself: What is the lie my ego is telling me right now?

Here’s what came up:

• “I’m not doing enough. I’m not enough.”

Then I asked: What is my ego trying to protect me from?

• “Being abandoned by my kids, husband, and community.”

And if that happened, my ego believes:

• “It would mean I’m worthless and I don’t matter.”

Oof. No wonder I was feeling tense.

Shifting My State
I put my hand on my heart and breathed into that space. As I breathed, I brought up a memory from last night: Adam and I at the LCD Soundsystem concert at Red Rocks. The stage was full of musicians creating magic that had 10,000 people dancing as a blood orange moon rose over the city skyline. For a few moments, I let myself relive the awe, the music, and the joy.

Gratitude Anchors
From that place, I named very specific gratitudes from the last 48 hours:

• Feeling stronger and stronger on my supported pull-ups
• The sunflowers in our garden
• Vinni’s hazel eyes in the sunset light
• Isaac’s sweet freckled face and green eyes as he told me about his toy
• Paying the yoga business insurance and Isaac’s school fees

Choosing What Matters
From there, the day got simpler. My priorities became:

1. Pay the two bills.
2. Apply for TED Talks.

Everything else? Bonus.

Reframing the Story
I reminded myself:
I’m walking this steep trail with strong legs and a full heart. I can let go of attachment to how I think things should be, find beauty in what is, and trust that it is all working out.

Visualizing the Future
I closed my eyes and pictured myself in luxurious white bedding, in a clean, sunlit bedroom. My kids and husband are happy and healthy. We have financial abundance from fulfilling work, paid down HELOC, and support with our home so we can simply enjoy each other.

And in the bigger vision, I’m standing on the red circle of a TED Talk stage, sharing my mission:
To transform the way people show up at work, at home, and in the world, by helping them move beyond default patterns so they can step into an empowered, intentional, purpose-driven life.

Takeaway: Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your frustration—it’s about naming the ego’s fear, shifting your physiological state, anchoring into specific joys, and taking aligned action. It’s a skill you can practice in minutes, right in the middle of a messy, beautiful, real life.

This post is inspired by Marianne Williamson’s quote from A Return to Love

​I first read this quote in a bathroom stall in my college dorm. Of all the places to have an existential moment, that beige-walled stall in Alton, Illinois was it.

Collaged on the "potty notes" on the back of the door, it said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…”

I didn’t know it was Marianne Williamson at the time. I just knew it stopped me.
Because it named something I hadn’t been able to articulate:
I wasn’t afraid I was not enough. I was afraid of what might happen if I actually let myself be enough. If I let myself be seen. If I let myself shine.

That quote followed me out of that bathroom stall and into the next two decades of my life—through auditions, heartbreaks, building a business, yoga trainings, parenting, new love, writing a book, and building a life around purpose.

It wasn’t until I started writing about the ego and the higher self in Dancing with Our Selves that I fully understood why that quote hit me so hard:
It called out the ego’s fear of losing control.

Let’s be honest: most of us don’t consciously decide to play small. We just subtly start accommodating our ego’s fears.

The ego says:

• “Don’t speak up—you’ll look arrogant.”
• “Stay here—it’s safer.”
• “Don’t stand out—you’ll make others uncomfortable.”
• “Don’t try—you’ll probably fail.”

But the higher self whispers something else entirely:
“What if your fullness is the very thing that frees someone else?”

In my book, I describe the ego as a reactionary dance partner—skilled, familiar, but always leading from a place of defense. The higher self, on the other hand, invites a different rhythm. One of conscious choice. Purposeful movement. Embodied power.

When we let the ego lead, we shrink.
When we let the higher self lead, we expand.

And as Marianne Williamson reminds us:
“Your playing small does not serve the world… As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Letting your light shine isn’t about performance. It’s about presence.
It’s not about ego-driven bravado. It’s about higher self alignment.

It means:

• Acting from truth, not fear.
• Leading from purpose, not validation.
• Being rooted in who you are, not in who you think you need to be.

Because when we stop playing small—not out of ego, but out of reverence for the gift of being alive—we offer others a powerful model of what’s possible.

​Maybe you:
    •    Say yes to the opportunity you’ve been quietly drawn to.
    •    Speak with clarity instead of cushioning everything with qualifiers.
    •    Post the thing. Lead the thing. Try the thing.

Not because you’re trying to prove anything.
But because you’re tired of dimming your own brilliance.

The ego will always resist expansion—it’s wired for survival, not soul-level fulfillment. But the higher self knows you were born for this.

This is something we unpack deeply in my 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training—not just how to teach poses, but how to teach from your truth. We explore how the ego gets in the way of our growth, and how stepping into the teacher seat is really about learning to let your higher self lead—on the mat and in your life.

Whether you want to teach yoga or simply deepen your practice and self-awareness, this training is a powerful container for your light to shine.

The next training begins soon. Find out more HERE!

To quote Marianne again:
“Who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”

Let this be the moment you stop playing small.
Let this be the moment you say yes.